Do's and Don'ts for Difficult People Wanting to Change Part III: Perception is Reality

Another life lesson of note to acquire is to be perceptive and intuitive. That expression, “take a hint” is one of the most important ones we can heed. While some people will confront us when we’ve said or done something they don’t like, most will not. Most will tell someone else (such as our boss) instead of confronting us directly. They may also behave in more passive aggressive ways to avoid a direct confrontation.

One way a person might let us know they are upset with us is to drop subtle hints. It’s important to be aware of when someone might be dropping a hint, especially if that hint is dropped jokingly. Hints dropped jokingly are often the most serious, as the person addressing the offender must be sufficiently angry or annoyed to express it directly, and is trying to think of a tactful way to do so. Even though they are expressing themselves in a passive manner, they are still trying to convey a message. We must be aware of when it is happening.

We must also be aware of the danger of overanalyzing. We must be perceptive, but not overly sensitive and paranoid. This is where balance comes in. Most of life’s successes come from employing a sense of balance. If we find ourselves reading into and picking apart what we think are subtle hints being dropped, we can drive ourselves crazy. It’s critical to be perceptive without becoming paranoid. We can think of this as a balancing act of walking a tightrope.